| Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
"Man, I thought you always carry your grigri and a
backup grigri on those trad climbs ? You can rap down double ropes if
you bring 2... then if you bring another 2, you can use them for backups
instead of prussics.
Quips & Quotes Subject: Urinary Peculiarities Among the Various Climbing Disciplines As much as we'd all like to think that the different types of climbing styles can peacefully coexist, the facts are that it just ain't true. A routine scan of dissertation abstracts turned up a peculiar publication pertaining to the effect of one's lifestyle upon the manner in which one tends to urinate. In the final chapter, the researcher, a fellow by the name of Dick Lizard, described the results of research into a large population of climbers around the world. I found the results to be quite revealing and with the author's permission would like to share them with you. By the way, his dissertation was titled: YOU ARE HOW YOU PISS
Good mountaineering workout... any ideas ? Subject: Re: good mountaineering workout... any ideas ? Gsann (gsann@aol.com) wrote: I suggest going out to the nearest pub and getting completely, and When you get home (ideally around 3:30am) stick the vile mixture into
Your dehydration caused by the alcohol should adequately simulate what
Oh --- once your finished your workout, go to work (to replicate the
long Greg Hamilton "If by protected you mean that it's 10-15 feet above that alien, then yes, yes it is protected." — Greg Kneser. "Dying seems to me a bigger failing than not improving as fast as humanly possible." — Theresa Ho. "If someone were to ask me to quit climbing because they love me so much and doesn't want to lose me, I'd be out the door so fast, that someone wouldn't have time to say adios." — Inez Drixelius. "Sitting on that first hook of the day, it's like your first time having sex. Your entire focus is on one very small object." — Kelly Rich. "To be a full-fledged boulderer, you need to be able to do two things: climb way harder than I can, and shout 'You got it, dude !' with convincing enthusiasm every time someone leaves the ground, continuing until their return." — Dawn Alguard. "You have to train your ropes better. Ropes are like dogs. Think consistent reinforcement of good behavior. New ropes need a lot of work. My rope is usuallys well behaved. However, Emily's rope is always getting itself tied up in knots. I think she neglected it when it was young." — Sue Hopkins. "I find that rock climbing is the finest, most healthiest sport in the whole world. It is much healthier than most; look at baseball, where 10 000 sit on their ass to watch a handful of players" — John Salathé, 1974. "If you don't let go, you can't fall off !" — Jerry Moffat. "We can lick gravity, but the paperwork's a bit tougher." — Werner von Braun. "I find what keeps me safest on climbs is a big, gnarly hexcentric. Specifically in the sense that I let my partner know that I'll be aiming it at vital parts of his body if I ever see that hand come off the belay side of the rope..." — John. I've always wondered where the Old Timers bought their pants, with their cantaloupe-sized balls and all." — Stephen Prouty.
"Lorises primates have been observed urinating on their hands and feet — it is thought that they do this to improve their grip while climbing." "Pissing through 6 inches of clothes with a 3 inch penis !" — Anonymous Everest summiteer when asked what was the hardest thing about climbing Mt Everest. "Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible." — Doug Lawson. "They say you can't do it, but sometimes it doesn't always work." — Casey Stengel. "I really find you intellectually stimulating and would love to converse at length about philosophical questions concerning Plato's Symposium. But first things first: would you mind flaking my rope ?" — K.M. Johnson. "If you want to climb it badly enough, you will. So... why bother ?" — Doug Scott. "Why ? Why, why, why do I do this ???" — Chuck Pratt. "Life is brought down to the basics: if you are warm, regular, healthy, not thirsty or hungry, then you are not on a mountain... Climbing at altitude is like hitting your head against a brick wall — it's great when you stop." — Chris Darwin. "It's not advisable to drink too much strong liquors while climbing in the Alps. If, however, you are going to fall over a cliff, it's advisable to be thoroughly intoxicated when you do so." — Anonymous English alpinist. "Be careful when you go down. Remember, there's only one step but it's a big one !" — My grandfather. "Sucks to be you, dude." — An ER doc climbing partner to Brent Ware after a fall. "I want painkillers, and none of that Tylenol #3 crap either. Something with a 'dan' or a 'done' at the end." — Brent Ware after a fall. "I climb way too badly to worry about cholesterol..." — Brad B. "The client is trying to kill you, the client is trying to kill himself and the client is trying to kill the rest of the clients." — The 3 rules of mountain guiding. |